I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
