If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
