I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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