I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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