help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
