When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
