No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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