I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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