you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
