Kiss
Puke
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
