Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
