when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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