We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
