Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize