Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
