Rock
Scissors
Fuck
...so i touched it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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