she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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