Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
