I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
