Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
