Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Your dad touched me again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
