im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
