and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
