I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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