I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
