I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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