i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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