Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
