Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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