theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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