my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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