you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
