This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
