I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
