blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
