I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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