BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
