come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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