it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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