Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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