it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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