margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
