I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Shame is for Republicans.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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