Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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