He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
