Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
