no, he came in my armpit
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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