I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
