It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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