i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I love having hate sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
