it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
