There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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