yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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