Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
whose parrot is this?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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