Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
