I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I understand Curling. That high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
