i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
