I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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