you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
