so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
