dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
