I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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